It’s election time in Canada, which makes me ask: where did you learn how to vote? I mean really.

I’m guessing most of us never really learned how to vote, we just added up the sum of details thrown at us by our surroundings, no?  Here is what seems required to be a good politician: 

  • Pays his taxes on time
  • Wears a dark suit all the time
  • Never uses bad words. Ever.
  • Has never been unsuccessful in business
  • Has never been TOO successful in business either
  • Never  been near bankruptcy at any point, because only fools go bankrupt.
  • Certainly shouldn’t be poor …should seem wealthy, sort of.
  • Never smoked pot in High-School
  • Has never stolen anything, certainly doesn’t have a criminal record.
  • That goes for illegal downloads, too.
  • Should be well-traveled…
  • …but not first-class, you corrupt bastard.
  • Doesn’t speed up to catch a yellow light. In fact, never got a speeding ticket
  • No tattoos.
  • Doesn’t cheat on her spouse, or get cheated on
  • Should be married, because being unattached is wrong
  • Doesn’t watch porn. Never have, never will.
  • Might be a virgin. At least, devoid of sexuality. No Mo-Jo. Mo-Jo is bad.
  • Never got drunk and mooned a busy street, while waiting for a cab with his jackass buddies
  • Never grabbed some guy’s ass on camera (Facebook OMG!!)
  • Has at least one university degree, 3 is better, and is probably a lawyer
  • And on and on and on…

Sound like anyone you know? Me neither. Sounds more like Optimus Prime, who is, in fact, an ethical robot who transforms into a truck. Cool, yes, but not real.

So, who comes up with this crap?  By these standards, virtually none of the people I know could be politicians. Life experience, anyone? Why do we measure people we don’t know with these standards, let alone give them power over our lives and communities? No wonder people are cynical and generally numbed-out about politics…

Notice how many of these “standards” are negative?  

I’m not saying we should vote for unfaithful, pot-smoking, bankrupt, bermuda-wearing criminals with a sailor’s mouth, I’m saying MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND. Don’t believe the hype. Bring your own standards to the table, ask your own questions – you’ll make better decisions – whatever they may be. Come up with your own ideal politician. F$#% the system. (and the Decepticons)